you never appreciate me, ever
by loudestdork
Summary: being a friend is hard specially if you already develop something that you shouldn't.  i suck at summarizing.. so.. just take a look. please.


**ok, let's see.. i don't own skins. that's it.**

**this is my first smut story so please be nice.. :D and yeah.. fuck it. i didn't even check this one so.. sorry if i had some mistakes.. :)**

**anyway..**

**ENJOY. or no. :D**

* * *

"when are you going to stop?" I asked her.

"why don't you just shut up?" she snapped. _Harsh._

"Ugh! I don't understand you woman! If you feel shit and all why don't you just let him go?" I asked.

"shut up!"

"that's all you gonna tell me? Fucking hell! You wake me up in the middle of the night just to what? Shut me up? I can't believe you Naomi Campbell." I said getting out of the bed. I need a fag.

I didn't talk for a moment and I just stay there having my fag. I don't want another row with her. This is quite getting stupid really. Almost every night, Naomi will be here, upset with Cook, her boyfriend, because he being a prick. He's always been a prick and I don't know what happened to _my _clever Naomi. It seems like she was totally brainwashed by that guy. And I can't stand it. I can't stand the thought that she kept on hurting just because of the stupid insane guy Cook.

"Ems." She said quietly. I didn't look at her. It pained me to look at her when she's like that. It seems like the world fell on her shoulders. It's so sad. "Ems, I'm sorry." I didn't know that she got up until she snaked her hands on my waist. I didn't answer. I want her to realize the things she's been missing. I want her to stop her insanity. "I didn't meant to."

I didn't answer.

What for? She would fucking dismiss everything I'll say. I wonder what she's been afraid of. Losing a guy? Scared of the feeling that no one will be able to love her? That's INSANITY! I'm angry. Angry at her because she's being a cow. I don't really understand her. Angry at Cook for the lack of appreciation for _my Naomi. _Fuck it! I'm even angry with myself for claiming that this person holding me is mine. She'll never be. She's Cook's as far as I remember. _Fuck it Ems, she's not yours. Never will. For fuck sake! She's fucking straight._

"Ems, let's talk. Please?" voice sounds defeated, but then, what will I say? That she should go to Cook and stop whatever insanity she's in. Well, **IF **she'll do that.

"no. I don't want to." I answered. Cold.

"Ems please. I want to talk now."

"I don't care." I said while trying to free myself from her. "look Naomi. You could stay here as long as you want but I won't talk."

"why?"

"because I'm tired? I'm tired of giving some shit to people who doesn't even know how to take advices seriously."

"but I listen." She argued.

"no you don't. you never did." I said. "and please let go." She didn't, instead she held me firmer than off what she did a while ago.

"I.." she stopped dead on her tracks, maybe she realize it already. "listen Ems. I'll to you now. I promise." I scoffed at that.

"how many times you told me that? how many times you said to me that you'll going to stop whatever you have with Cook? You know what Naoms. I'm tired. Tired of being your friend. I can't understand to." I said defeated. "you never run out of drama stories do you?"

"Ems, you have to understand. I love him." She said

I sigh

"so, you love him. I get it. But he kept on hurting you."

"em—"

"you know what? Let's stop this. I don't want to talk alright. Just so you know, I'll tell you again. I'm tired." I said calmly, whilst removing her hands on my waist. I was about to go back to bed when she violently grab my wrist and forcefully made me look at her.

"NO!" she said violently. She's getting in my nerves now.

"no?" I said, trying to calm myself up.

"yes! No. you know what. you're an uptight bitch! You don't want to listen to me because you think I'm pathetic."

"well.. I DO." _Emily, calm down._

"well, FUCK you Emily! You'll never understand me." _I DO! _"you'll never understand me, because.. because you don't know how to love. You don't know anything about love Ems! You don't." _you don't know anything about me._

"you don't know anything Naomi. Just let me go." I pleaded. Her hold to my wrist is hurting me already. "please"

"no, I won't"_ how did it turn out to be like this?_

"I need to rest Naomi. You too."

I don't know what happened but the next thing I know, I was violently pushed on the wall and I felt lips were crashed to mine. It took me sometime to realize what's happening. Naomi, the girl I love is kissing me as violently as possible. I know I need to stop this. I know that this is insanity. She have lose her mind. _This is wrong! All wrong. _But I shocked myself to when I kissed her back feverishly. She licked my lower lips, looking for entrance. I gave it. It had deepened the kiss. I grabbed her waist firmly whilst her hands were tangled in my hair. I moaned to the kiss. She slipped one of her hands on my shirt, violently palming my breast; she then break the kiss and attacked my neck, nipping, sucking and licking it violently as possible. I then, start to unbuttoned her shirt and it slowly revealed her creamy skin, her breast were clung on her red bra. I was about to remove it when I felt that I was being dragged away from the wall and lay me to my bed. She didn't waste her time though, she remove everything that had on my body and she did it to herself as well. after that, she lay on top of me. Didn't mutter anything. She didn't have too. she began to kissed me as if I am the only one she love. How could she pretend?

I know I have to stop it. I know…

I was about to stop her when I felt her tongue playing with my nipples and fuck me, I'm getting turned on. My hands were even pinned above my head. I can do nothing. She then lower herself. "you're so fucking wet" she muttered before pushing her tongue inside of me. Her hand grabbed the bottom of my thigh, pulling it slightly, as the pleasure run through my body which result me to shake violently. She continue her assault to my folds. She kept on pushing harder and harder and the next thing I know, I'm in heaven.

My breathing was ragged after the whole thing. She rolled away from me, grabbed her clothes and put it on. I just stay there. Didn't say anything. She lay again beside me and engulf me in a hug. "I'm sorry" she whispered.

I pretend to sleep on this. I don't want her to see me broken. God knows how much I love this person, but she kept on doing the same thing. This is not the first time that this mindless sex happened. I'm always been her rebound. Friends with benefits as they would say. But, how can I remain to be a friend if I already develop something inside of me that I know I shouldn't.

I drift into sleep; muttering in my head _"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you..."_ Letting my own tears falls down from my eyes.

* * *

***hides***

**so? *anxiously waiting for reaction...***


End file.
